Thursday, 10 December 2015

A Selection Of Ponderings Of An Arbitrary Protrusion

And now, here are but a mere handful of random thoughts on the world that I feel are fit more for a blog post than something I'd write on Twitter (@GameJudgeTPS) or Tumblr (

1. While communist groups around my university tend to don the typical symbols, terminology and idols that the ideology is intertwined with, they are much more international and span broader matters than their counterparts. Despite this, I can speak for everyone that no matter where you are, university communist groups give plenty of opportunities for one to roll their eyes and are as equal of a nuisance as the Christians that stand right next to them.

2. Emphasizing my roots has left me in a constant state of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I feel that letting others see me as a Venezuelan can allow for me to see a different perspective outside of one that comes from saying that I'm part American. On the other hand, it does suck that usually that means they're going to talk about Chavez and say something positive about him. I'm not even going to go into the internal identity struggle I have. Either way, I don't think anyone really cares, but it's something that satisfies me so fuck it.

3. Anyone who sells you dice from a jar for more than a dollar is a miserable wormfucker. They grab piles of dirt and sift through it to find fat, juicy larvae that they then have sexual acts with. Unless that dice jar contains mini zocchihedron, specially designed Shapeways sets or larger dice, they are trying to take advantage of you. If it weren't for my obsession with dice, I would not give money to these gusano-loving fiends. But I do my damnest to dig in there and find the most striking ones so I get my money's worth.

4. It's striking to think that a handful of the words that we know basically came from someone deciding to designate letters to certain sounds and those sounds become words. I know it sounds like a more verbose way of pointing the general way that language came to be. In fact, I'm simplifying excessively, taking away the whole concept of etymology and how naming new concepts or objects has come about but I keep finding myself coming back to the somewhat random nature of how language and words are, especially considering that there is an aesthetically pleasing aspect to the irregularities that make most if not all languages illogical. At times, what produces an appealing image does make sense, but seldom is that the case. I feel it is from this general way that language is that there shouldn't be so serious when it comes to pronunciation or even in some cases writing words or creating new ones. Then again, if there is some logic, even if it doesn't translate to the whole language, it does become easier to grasp. Perhaps what I'm trying to get at here is who the fuck cares how you pronounce gif? God.

5. The modern pop scene and I tend to be on good terms lately. I tend not to care about it as I used to and it tends to be away from my sights. Though I still find myself wondering if what we have lately is that blase to not even pay attention to it anymore. It's perhaps immature to still have that dismissive mindset on pop music. Particularly with that whole attitude of trying to look better because you listen to "real" music. For one, the pop scene is not reflective of the whole music scene in the current age and it's not to say that there aren't modern tunes that I hate. Maybe not pop tunes but a few hits sneak in my iTunes library every now and then. I guess this passivity is more to the drama that surrounds that world. Sure, it's in the general realm of celebrities, but it gets really annoying with music stars. At least it's nice to know that my mind has seemed to clock out from the hategasm it had about yellow journalism a few years ago.

6. Is Newgrounds still a thing? I mean I know I can obviously Google the answer but it feels like something moot nowadays. Well maybe that's not the right way to put it...Newgrounds isn't like MySpace where it's now seen as a more laughable and outdated product that has been taken over by far better services. Well okay, maybe it could be if you want to argue about it but that's not what I'm trying to say. No, Newgrounds is more like disco in my eyes. Something that is so quintessential to a time period and wonderful in its own right. Newgrounds is a tad more flawed than disco but I can't hold anything against them. They brought so much entertainment to my young self. And introduced me to porn. Lots of it.

7. I still can't fathom the fact that gift shops across the world have unique thimbles but no unique dice. What kind of world am I living in that thimble collectors can find custom-designed finger-buckets of exotic places but attempting to find a die that says Croatia on one of the sides isn't even possible in a gift shop? I'd say I have nothing against thimbles, but I do. The fuck is so interesting about a thimble? Why would you collect a bunch of them? They don't come in interesting shapes or racidal designs on them. They always look like those drab vases you see in museums. Fuck thimbles, man.

8. Do third parties even have a chance in North America? I mean I'm mostly referring to Canada and the US. I'm not entirely sure what the consensus is in terms of the cut-off of North and South. Most of the time when I see people mention North America, they mean Canada and the US. For the sake of this, I'll just say this: do third parties even have a chance in Canada or the US? I mean, sure, the NDP had the official opposition locked in recent years, but after this election, they went back to being in the third-party corner. I guess for a while I forgot that there must have been some people that voted for Harper. Still, it makes me wonder if the idea is just a fluke and the political status quo will be preserved. I mean it's more hopeful than in the US but even then I feel like maybe a third party emerging sometime soon isn't too insane. There's so much bubbling in America, such radical changes could come. Maybe. Though if they're for the better or not is a different story entirely.

9. When would you ever need a 24-sided die? Who decides what sort of odd-numbered sided dice get created and don't? I'd like to think it's some grand dice wizard who has all the say in whether or not a certain die gets made or not. And then it's up to someone else, some random chosen one to be selected to give that die a purpose. That person's probably picked by the roll of that very same die. I have yet to be given that call from the grand dice wizard but eventually I'd hope that I could get that magical letter that designates me as the creator of the first game that uses a 37-sided die. Hell, if that doesn't happen, I'll make my own games with the odd-sided dice. I'll make my own games with all the weird dice I have. I don't need to research and find out their true purpose. I'll give them my own purpose! Fuck the grand dice wizard! Take dice away from the title and it's nothing but racist. I won't be controlled by the racists. Yeah!

10. As a man, there must be a variety of things that I will never understand fully, not merely from a matter of intellect but simply because of the boundaries that my body possesses. And I don't even mean that in a large cosmic sense. I mean it in stupid things, like what goes into the life of a bee, how large is the world to an ant and what is truly lesbian sex. I mean sex in general has sort of been warped with the influx of pornography and the amount of fetishes people have come across but gay sex comes across as even more distorted. Man on man is always kind of treated as this quirky or absurd thing. Like there's the standard image of leather-bound butch boys spanking asses imprinted in every mind. And if you thought that straight porn could be silly, gay male porn goes beyond the limits that unrealistic sex videos could even fathom. But even with all the quotable and hilarious nature of it, at least as a man I understand some of it to a certain extent. I know there's something grounded in reality despite the stupid lines, it does fulfill a proper intent.

With lesbian sex, as much as I could be aroused by its representations, it'd be hard for me to think that it is authentic. I will never really understand how that ordeal is and the emotions that go through it truly are, much in the same way that being cis, I will never know how it feels to be uncomfortable with your gender representation. Lesbian sex is seen as something so titillating to men, and a great handful of representations of it, especially pornographic ones, are adhering to that sexual deviant fantasy that men create about two girls getting it on with one another. Even the more soft, romantic-like interpretation still comes off as something that would be typed over a really sweaty keyboard by some stereotypical-looking nerdy dude. It's crazy to think that it would hard for me to know what the true feminine perspective of that would be when it's literally just two women together. And sure, I could try to learn more about it in a more academic approach, but in the end I will never truly understand how that ordeal should be. I don't know how to feel about that in general because it doesn't necessarily do much for me to know that. It would just basically mean that if I write a lesbian sex scene, it won't be real and serve to be distasteful. And that I'm probably really horny while writing a story.

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