Monday 9 October 2017

Local Convenience Store Still Has Outdated Limited Time Drink In Fridge




Montreal, QC - While doing some shopping at a local convenience store, Marsha Hayes was reported seeing a common but bizarre sight of a brightly colored beverage in the fridge which was part of a promotion that had occurred over half a year ago. "I could have sworn it was there a lot longer" remarked Hayes. "I managed to get one of them out of sheer curiosity. It was good for the first little while but after that it was just the weirdest thing. I don't know if it's because it was old or because the flavor just was too out there for my taste buds." The owner of the store, Lola Sakayashi, doesn't feel it necessary to throw away the drinks. "Most of the people going to my store generally are tired and just need to get something from here. I figure the least I can do to make their experience more interesting is by having a more eccentric selection. Plus, the drinks are in the fridge so they're not spoiled yet." At press time, Hayes decided to randomly purchase a foreign product, unaware of whether or not it was edible.

Monday 2 October 2017

The Asshole Protagonist


Rick and Morty recently concluded its third season at a time where the show has managed to garner a great amount of attention on it. Though it mostly had to do with the pursuit of an old McDonald's sauce, part of it stems from the incredibly dark and cynical tone that the show has going for it. And no one manages to embody the mood of the show more than Rick Sanchez, a near-godly mad scientist with a drinking problem and a penchant for being an asshole. It was funny seeing how Rick would interact with the world in his hard atheist and sardonic tone, seeing it fit to talk down to everyone and coping with the effects of what his intellect has done to his mind. But in the latest season I found myself growing annoyed with the writing, particularly in reference to him. I understand that he's an asshole and that I'm not supposed to like him, but at the very least I should tolerate him. After all, he is a protagonist.

Though he may think himself as above the conventions of character classification, Rick is an asshole protagonist. An asshole protagonist has all the temperaments of an asshole but the focus and spirit of a protagonist. Asshole protagonists tend to be selfish, they are often finding ways to benefit themselves first before anyone else. Though some wish not to admit it, they are often emotional, with one of their main emotions being anger. They're also quick to fall into vices and sin. They view the world as either cold and unforgiving or chaotic and degenerate and as such feel that it's necessary for them to play dirty to achieve results. They're also vocal about their disdains, their hates, their loathings. You'll often find the asshole protagonist ranting and raving about society's ills. Despite their attitude, there's something about the asshole protagonist that other protagonists and characters gravitate to, enough to be able to tolerate their behavior. And even when at their worst, the asshole protagonist has some sort of "heart" that elevates them from just being an asshole.

The asshole protagonist is an interesting trope in our media. Though we feel like it's a modern convention brewed up by disgruntled Gen-Xers, we can trace it back to two little ducks: Donald and Daffy.



Both Donald and Daffy place their own interests before that of others, with Daffy being the more extreme case. They're also greedy, confrontational and often have fits about the most minuscule of inconveniences. Despite this, they're hailed as some of the most beloved characters of all time. To an outsider this would come off as ludicrous. What we're missing is that as protagonists, they rely on being relatable. When we see Donald Duck flip out from some bad news or Daffy Duck try and fail miserably, we're able to empathize with their situation. Sure, we might not rip a letter into shreds and rain it on ourselves like confetti, or hope that our frenemy gets shot in the face, but we feel for their plight.

The same can be said about other asshole protagonists like Duckman or Bender. With Duckman, we appreciate someone who is able to speak their mind freely as we often find ourselves trying to adjust or self-censor ourselves for certain audiences. We also like frank honesty, particularly when it agrees with our own biases on the world. Duckman is infamous for his insights on the modern world and we're willing to listen to him because they resonate with us. As for Bender, the liberty and lack-of-fuck-giving that he has provides a freedom that we'd like to have. Not to mention that he's freed himself from a job that didn't exactly offer much in terms of excitement.



Beyond reliability, well-written asshole protagonists have other components to them that allow them to function well in a story. For one, they are in balance with the rest of the world. They stand out, either because the world is not like them or the world is very much like them but only they are able to call attention to it. Bender is the counterweight to the rest of the Planet Express crew, serving as the wild card and comedic relief. Duckman works in his world because the world he lives in is absolutely shit and most people just seem to tolerate it rather than make mention of it.

Another aspect of a well-written asshole protagonist basically relates to having a good protagonist in general. That being that they should not be impervious to the world. It can definitely play into a plot point like say the asshole protagonist gets another protagonist into trouble and doesn't face any damage for it. But they too must also have problems that must be confronted or suffer for their actions. The advantage of the asshole protagonist is that unlike a regular protagonist, their morality and sympathies are able to drastically shift, either to maintain their image as a detached and rude person or to highlight their eccentricity.

One of the best examples of this is Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold. She is aggressive and bossy to others at school but in private moments, she has an undying passion for Arnold, the boy that she constantly pushes away with her character. Further information about her character provides us with the image of a neglected child who uses the tough-girl act to avoid being hurt by anyone, and ultimately desires to one day be freed from that role. With her, we're able to forgive her asshole attitude as we come to understand her character more and both laugh and feel sorry for her when she inevitably reverts to her role in the status-quo.



Though it doesn't have to be as sentimental when it comes to dealing with their pain. Sometimes we just want to see them in pain. This is where we get to the bare minimum of what an asshole protagonist should have - humor. Asshole protagonists are able to benefit as humorous characters because they both are able to inflict pain onto others and because we enjoy seeing them in pain. They're often written to provide snappy retorts or lead other characters down a series of wacky adventures through their actions. Furthermore, if ever there's a dull moment or the asshole protagonist is getting too much to bear, inflicting damage on them always helps to lighten the mood. Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is perhaps the master at being the humorous asshole protagonist, constantly tormenting Meatwad and having his ego be cut down either emotionally or through physical violence.

How does all of this manage to tie into Rick? Well, during the first two seasons, Rick was able to fit the characteristics of a good asshole protagonist. He was willing to cut through the bullshit, but also had moments that allowed him to be vulnerable and show it. The world was also balanced in a manner that his presence didn't throw it off-kilter. However, when the cynicism of the rest of the world is cranked up along with others' abilities to be self-aware about it, Rick loses his place in the balance. Sure he's the the most asshole of the bunch, but if everyone's also a dick and willing to make reference to it (even when it doesn't necessarily serve their character), then Rick comes across as far more insufferable

Another problem with Rick in the third season is that he's impervious. He's essentially a god who's always right. Though one can argue that he lives a very toxic lifestyle, in regards to certain plot points, he can do no wrong. This has led to the idolization of his character by some on the internet as they'd rather be right and have all of his capabilities than be a decent person. Asshole protagonists are not someone to idolize, they're someone to empathize with. If they're to be idolized, they need to earn it by changing as characters, shedding what makes them terrible. Because if they're idolized as is, it only encourages apathy, resentment and anti-social behavior. Which is essentially what happened with Cartman.


Cartman is perhaps an odd inclusion. His behavior and relationship to the rest of his "friends" in South Park is far more fitting of an antagonist and indeed he works best when more directly pitted against others. Yet with the way that some episodes frame it (particularly Cartoon Wars, Imaginationland and The Coon), we come to follow Cartman as a protagonist through how much we focus on him. We are interested in his arc, for better or for worse. The story beats that he goes through reflect that of a normal protagonist, making it play off as though he has more innocent intentions. And in the end, he comes out of it not only unscathed but also achieving whatever goal he wanted. Though it can come off as humorous, this creates a similar warped admiration, where people wish to emulate him because he's an asshole who can get away with it. Which generally does not bode well.

In the end, an asshole protagonist is just a trope. And like any trope, there's a fair amount of subjectivity to them. Some people outright cannot deal with asshole protagonists. Others have varying degrees of what they're willing to tolerate. Ultimately, an asshole protagonist is someone that we can follow around without wanting to turn back. Be it because they speak some truth, have some emotional complexity to them or are just fun to be around. Take that away, and you just have an asshole. And no one wants to be around an asshole.