Blacula AKA Did That Nigga Just Bite Me?

Remember the seventies? I certainly don't but I know a lot of people my age who act like they think they do.  What with Dark Side Of The Moon coming out in '73, tons of great movies such as Star Wars and The Godfather and the rise of the hippie (which has now mutated into this annoying creature called a hipster) and use of marijuana being key elements of the era. The thing is that these folk tend to avoid three things in particular. The Vietnam War, disco and blaxploitation. To them, 'Nam's only interesting if you're looking at movies that are based on the horrors it brought out and disco's deader than Nixon's reputation in '74. Blaxploitation, on the other hand, is a trickier beast. It's hard to say if there is an interest or not in this genre, but if it did, it would be somewhat difficult to assemble a collection from scratch. See, it's not as readily available to us young cats as it used to be. That's not to say you can't find the popular entries, but those that are more unknown tend to be hidden underneath a bargain bin at a local video store. Notice that I said "local video store", not a fancy-smancy Blockbuster down the street. Either way, video stores are a dying breed, especially the ones run by more independent folk. I happened to stumble across the last one in my vicinity which was having a clear out sale. Looking for some interesting entertainment, I came across Blacula, an entry that is neither oblivious to the public nor widely recognized. I knew that this would be decent entertainment because it sounded ridiculous, so I took it (along with a few other DVDs) and went my merry way.

Now, one must remember that if they're going to watch a blaxploitation film, they need to be in a particular mindset to truly enjoy it. These films may contain:

- Funk and soul music

- Cheesy as hell effects and choreography

- Use of the N-word

- Erotic undertones

- Erotic overtones

- Jive talk

- Ignorant white men being taken down and/or white people becoming doormats

So if you honkeys can't handle this groove, then y'all better split now. Let's get to the down and dirty. 

"Hmm, I wonder what the blood of a negro tastes like..."

The movie starts with an African prince named Mamuwalde (played by the Z-list version of Billy D. Williams, Williams H. Marshall) and his wife Luva (played by the saucy Vonetta McGee) speaking to the vampire king himself, Count Dracula. Mamuwalde is speaking to the Count about the slave trade and how he wants him to maybe cut back on suppressing the lives of his people. You tend to notice that Mamuwalde's one sophisticated smooth-talking negro. Every word he says sounds so resonant and relaxed, you can't help but be hypnotized by what he has to say. Being that the Count is not only a blood sucking pale-faced monster and a vampire, he's not going to follow through with Mamuwalde's proposal and decides to bite him on the neck. Because that's really the only thing vampires can do, make idle chit-chat and suck your blood. He curses Mamuwalde that he will rest in one of his tombs and carry on with the Count's legacy, as the eponymous Blacula when released. As for his wife? Well she gets to cry around his locked coffin for the rest of her life until she withers away. Delightful. 

Afterwards we get some intriguing animated opening credits and we cut to 1972, where two gay interior decorators decide to take Dracula's estate and coincidentally take Blacula's coffin with them to a L.A warehouse. They talk about how gay they are because that's all gay people did in the 70s and then they open the coffin one of them wants to use as a bed for their horror themed house. I guess black is the new pink. As expected Mamuwalde (who we will now deem Blacula) attacks the two and retreats back in his coffin because what else is he gonna do after biting two interior decorators? We focus on the black interior decorator whose friends have come to see the body. His friends, Tina Williams (another role that Vonetta had in this film), her sister Michelle (oddly enough played a civil rights activist named Denise Nicholas) and Michelle's boyfriend Dr. Gordon Thomas (played by a recurring blaxploitation actor Thalmus Rasulala) are unaware that they're being spied on by Blacula. Dr. Gordon (no, not that one) stays in the room and continues to pester the curator of the tomb about the details concerning the corpse of his friend. So much so, the curator calls Gordon a "rude nigger" in a way that mirrored Geoffrey sans the dry wit. Blacula believes that Tina is a reincarnation of his wife Luva, and since he hasn't gotten his groove on since the 18th century, he decided to get in on that by following her. 

As you'd imagine, following a woman in the dark isn't really the best way to get her to think you're a nice guy so naturally she dashes like mad to her apartment dropping her purse. Of course, Blacula manages to get it and gives it to her, after biting a cab driver that ran him over and off the trail. To assure that he can win her over, he uses his normal name when introducing himself to her. With his charismatic demeanor, Tina invites Blacula over to meet up with her friends at a club. Again, you begin to notice the sheer wonder of Williams' acting as Blacula. As he talks to Tina and her friends in the club, you can just tell he's calculating carefully what he wants to say to draw her in. Luckily for Blacula, he managed to do just that. Tina just seems to be mesmerized by what he has to say, and it certainly helps that he looks like a boss nigger. As they're all having a good time and drinking champagne, a girl starts to take pictures of them. This doesn't please ol' Vlad Blacul too much because he doesn't show up on the pictures. So he tells the lady that it would be appreciated if she did not develop those pictures so that panic does not ensue amongst th-I'm just kidding, he sucks her blood and crumples one of the developed pictures so that no one will know about his secret. 

And they say that he's the monster...

Now, this is actually quite clever of the movie of having Blacula not necessarily be a monster for the sake of "Ooh, I'm a vampire!" but rather eliminating people that will obstruct his path of rekindling the love that he has for his wife. It shows that he's not letting the inner nature of maliciousness that comes with being a vampire get the better of him. If anything, he's just using his newfound abilities as a tool to get to his primary human goal of finding passion once again. It is a bit peculiar that Tina just accepts that he's a vampire once he reveals that to her, but they did have sex, so I suppose Mamuwalde's ancient experience in the love-making makes up for it.

While all of this ooey-gooey romance is happening, Dr. Gordon is investigating the death of the interior decorators using all the information he can get from the LAPD. He notices that there have been more cases of the "teeth marks inside of the neck" and "empty blood vessels" occurring around the area and notices that there's a connection. He keeps trying to investigate, trying to come to a more reasonable conclusion than "Hey, I think we're being attacked by vampires". But after realizing that his friend's corpse has disappeared, it doesn't seem that crazy after. To be sure though, he convinces his girlfriend to assist him in digging up the other interior decorator's grave. Sure enough, once they open the coffin, Cracker McGee is a vampire. Dr. Gordon shoves a stake into his heart and then realizes that he's right on the level of batshit insane these cases have been. To prove to his boss that vampires are a threat, he thaws out the corpse of the cab driver and then blasts the sun on her before either of them get attacked. His boss realizes that it's best  to guard the city at night, but Gordon needs to find who's the source of all this mayhem. Sure enough, he finds out that it's Mamuwalde. I'm not sure what gave him that idea...was it the negative that he found in the house of the lady that was attacked that showed him not being there or Mamuwalde wearing a goddamn cape? 

I think the make-up artist thought this was Night Of The Living Niggas

Dr. Gordon confronts Tina about this and gives Michelle a cross so that she can protect herself and Tina from when Blacula returns. Gordon, his boss and some cops try to go to the warehouse to confront Blacula, but surprise! Turns out that he not only moved his coffin somewhere else but also trapped them with a whole bunch of vampires. On the one hand, this is quite cruel of Blacula to just have them killed instead of finding a more diplomatic manner of making sure that he can keep his love and his life. On the other hand, Dr. Gordon just seems to kill vampires willy-nilly so it's a respectable precaution. Blacula manages to fly away and take Tina into his new lair, where eventually Dr. Gordon and the Cracker Cop Clan follow suit. Blacula disposes of each of the cops one by one as he tries to get to his coffin. Unfortunately for him, one of the cops shoots Tina instead of him, which prompts him to turn her into a vampire. This makes sense in the idea that when you become a vampire, you lose touch with your humanity, which in turn means that he sees it as difficult to maintain his relationship with her if she no longer has a grasp of the love that they have. Dr. Gordon gets to his coffin and prepares to jab a nice wooden stick into some Blacula heart. Only that's not Blacula...that's Vampire Tina. 

I'll kill a bunch of cops, but I sure as hell ain't fucking a corpse.

Heartbroken by the loss of his love, Blacula decides that the only thing he can do is drag himself up to the sunlight to kill himself, possibly reuniting himself with her in the afterlife. It ends with his rotting maggot-infested corpse, which is fitting for the horror aspect, but not so much to the actual substance of the film. I will say that it looked pretty damn real. 

Many critics seem to hate on this film because it's not scary and basically slaps the black culture into a well-known tale, but I don't think one should honestly expect chills from a film called Blacula. It may have its insertions of funk and soul, but its much less about the blaxploitation bit than it is about Mamuwalde getting back the old flame that he lost. I will admit that the relationship wasn't fleshed out enough, but I can't expect such grandure from a film with what appears to be a shoestring budget. Plus it made a considerable attempt to create an interesting human-vampire dynamic, showing that as long as a human can control themselves from the urges that comes with being a vampire, they can be very nice. At the very least, one should enjoy the 70s tint that gives way to awkward fighting and bizarre humor along with the performance of Williams Marshall. Quite honestly, it's a damn shame that he hasn't been on-screen more, aside from being the King of Cartoons. The world can never have enough of the pontificating baritone badass, and he fit that title perfectly. So I say check it out, it's certainly one of the easier blaxploitation films to find. 

The Death Of Hugo Chavez

This was a day that I knew I would come some time in my life. It was a day that I figured would mean great change for Venezuela and that it would pave the way towards progress. Now that it's here, that glimmer seems to have faded away along with the fervency of my hatred I had for the ex-president. It has been a weird 17 years slowly understanding how exactly to shape my opinion on this man. I've chirped here and there about how I don't favor him, but I've always seemed to talk about him in a light that has been more passionate and emotional. It's no surprise that this would happen though as it certainly is something that greatly impacts me as a person. Just because I no longer live there doesn't mean that I don't worry about what happens to close friends and family members. At the same time, I have learned more about what exactly it is that the man has done, and while I can't lean towards neutrality let alone like him, I can at least understand why others would. So, I'd like to tell you from all that I've read about, endured and understood, the impact that Chavez has had in his years.

Chavez was born in 1954 and joined the Military Academy in 1971. He participated in the 1992 coup d'état to overthrow Carlos Andrés Pérez. While it did not succeed and he did end up being in prison for his involvement in the coup, he had gotten vast amounts of attention for the act. Eventually, he was released and then managed to enter into the 1998 elections. As fate would have it, Chavez won. For the next 14 or so years, Chavez did much to not only stir the nation that he ruled over, but also the world itself. The man was not a quiet creature, when he made speeches, he made them loud. They were filled with intensity and ardor, drawing many people into what he had to say. Not only that, but he always spoke about a revolution that would come by and swoop them off their feet. That's what probably what made him so appealing to the poor. 

Due to the spiritualism in the nation, he's been glorified to nearly a god. Not necessarily because of his speeches, but he has somehow managed to decrease the poverty of the nation substantially from 60% in 1998 to less that 30% in 2008. This has allowed the poor to afford the bare necessities that they require, and as such, has strengthened the bond between the people and the president. Naturally, this bond that he had with the most common of folk allowed him to have more control over the country itself. It basically was the pivotal reason as to why he lasted for so long. He was a powerful televangelist, giving people enough of what they needed and barking better than his bite. This would become very apparent once he finally stood on the world stage. 

In 2006, Chavez stood in front of the UN and vehemently preached about how we must avoid American imperialism. He was a devout critic of George W. Bush, calling him the devil. Some saw him as showing himself as the true revolutionary that he was, standing up to his enemies. Others figured that he was merely a pompous, arrogant hypocrite. As time went on, it became clear that he wanted to establish himself as someone who greatly opposed the ideologies and policies that were being established in the US. He constantly shook hands with America's rivals such as Castro, Gaddafi and Ahmadinejad, strengthening the ties between their countries. Many people seemed to adore Chavez for being vocal against Bush, and various people such as Barbara Walters, Oliver Stone and Sean Penn have gone to subvert this idea that Chavez is not this nasty caricature that is portrayed in the media. I can't be so certain if it was because Chavez had made a great first impression on them or if they simply enjoy someone with an equally adamant dislike for a president that everyone and their mothers wasn't pleased with. Either way, this truly did have an impact on how others viewed Chavez. It wasn't the proper view that one should have, in my opinion, but in some fairness America still had both sides. I will say that it still is weird that I could say that I might have agreed with the right concerning the subject.

One thing that is for certain is that he has made an effort to eliminate opposing voices. Due to the 2002 coup d'état that failed to completely overthrow Chavez, he cracked down powerfully to remove any of this opposition on him. As such, he has gotten a stronger control of the judicial system so that it favors his wishes and has arrested a deal of people in political positions which he has deemed "traitors". The most prominent of his efforts to remove the other side was stopping RCTV from broadcasting. RCTV was a television channel that had been very critical of Chavez, with the occasional mockery here and there done for the sake of political satire. It had also supported the coup, mainly because they believed it was leading towards a more democratic Venezuela. Because of this, Chavez considered them fascists and had made efforts to remove them and put in their place something more appealing to his presidency. As such, on May 28th, 2007, RCTV no longer became a lingering threat, dealing a critical blow to the opposition. That in turn, doesn't signify that liberty of free speech. Without that liberty, it could be safe to say that it was turning into a dictatorship. 

While Venezuela's poverty has managed to lower, the crime rate has continued to soar, with Caracas being one of the most dangerous cities to go to. Even though I've lived there and have not had close encounters with gangs, I do recall hearing gunfire one night outside of my house and an object being hurled at one of my classrooms from afar (most likely a bullet). Not only that, but when passing through the slums in the core of the capital, one could faintly hear the sound of guns flaring off. This has shown how incompetent, corrupt and/or overwhelmed the police are, which does not shine so well to the man who has shown to be a grand change in the nation. Power outages have also reared their ugly heads, making matters even worse to strengthen his case. Perhaps the most peculiar of the problems that Venezuela does face is that the economy has not shown significant improvement with inflation nearing 30%. 

It's sad to say that some of these larger economic problems are not completely at the fault of Chavez. The country's economy is heavily petroleum-centric, as very little else is exported from such. Thus, the price of oil is what controls the economy for the most part. So when the 70s brought the price up due to a siege of OPEC ministers, prosperity arose. With all the money came in, Venezuelans managed to live the good life, being able to buy various objects of desire with veritable ease. The government was equally as frivolous with the money, spreading the wealth to the nation, but not in a way that would benefit it in the future. Arturo Uslar Pietri, a Venezuelan intellect, stated that we should "sembrar el petroleo" which basically meant that the money that we gained from petroleum should be used in investments to break from our oil dependency. Needless to say that did not happen and when the 80s brought the price down, so went Venezuela, which ultimately led to riots. Chavez could at least reference the leaders of before to make himself better suited when compared, yet his more "socialist" policies have not helped lure outside investors that could turn the economy for the better.  

To this day, I still did not like seeing the change that has come about from Chavez's reign. He may have had the key to rouse people to follow his ideas, done some effort to aid those who are struggling in the slums and  shown signs of a revolution that would turn the world around, but his faults do enough to outweigh the hope that he seemed to have promised so much. At the same time, the rage that he had brought me from his decisions has cooled down, now knowing that even before him, issues such as corruption and a failing economy were evident. I do not hold that much hope that the elections will bring forth the president that will at least make a decent effort to fix the glaring problems that face the nation, but I can only wait and see what will happen. Chavez has done a great deal to divide not only the nation that he ruled over, but those outside of Venezuela, which has served nothing more than an annoyance to have to cope with. The only word that I can think of that describes everything the president has done is polarizing. I bid you farewell, Hugo Chavez, so that a new chapter can begin in Venezuelan politics. 

Sources:

http://venezuelanalysis.com/news/6451

http://www.heritage.org/index/country/venezuela

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6215815.stm

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/05/world/americas/obit-venezuela-chavez/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

http://web.archive.org/web/20070526151532/http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/05/23/venezuela.tv.ap/index.html

http://www.hurriyet.com.tr/english/world/10211697.asp?scr=1

http://fair.org/take-action/media-advisories/coup-co-conspirators-as-free-speech-martyrs/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-16349118

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/americas/venezuela/110615/venezuela-power-outages

Let's Talk About Gritty Fairy Tale Movies

Once upon a time (2010 to be exact), in a land far far away, there were these four producers (one played by Leonardo DiCaprio) that decided it would be a good idea to make a darker version of Little Red Riding Hood. It wasn't a good movie in terms of content, but it sure as hell made them rich. In fact, they made more than double their original budget. Soon others figured, why not make other fairy tales into a grittier story? If they could get such success, why couldn't they? And thus, we have begun our adventure into 2013, where gritty fairy tales seem to be popping up a little more. They were going to pop up in 2012, but due to some studio problems, we're now faced to gulping them down in a new year that's supposed to bring us hope that perhaps Hollywood isn't so tapped out of ideas. Then again, let's not be so cynical, as it is a small amount of films that seem to follow this trend. Still, let's delve a little more into this sudden concept of making these more "twisted" takes on classic stories (that oddly were kind of twisted on their own).

Based on what I can gather so far, we have about 4 gritty fairy tale movies (Red Riding Hood, Snow White and The Huntsman, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Jack The Giant Slayer) that have come about the start of this decade. Perhaps a few more, if we really want to dig deeper (honestly, I was going to say 5, but it's debatable to say if The Wizard of Oz is a fairy tale). Now, usually something that trends can't simply be counted on with your two hands, let alone one. They happen to a more exaggerated scale that ends up suffocating you with its ridiculousness. Perhaps it is quick to say that we're jumping on to the idea that this is becoming a fad. On the other hand, Hollywood has seemed to make a great deal of unorthodox concepts play themselves straight, such as making Abraham Lincoln a vampire hunter. Even though it's evident that this leaves the general consensus mixed to negative on the films, it sells. If it sells, they'll keep it going, no matter how awful it is. That's just how the business world works.

I suppose it doesn't become too much of a surprise that they would now decide to use fairy tales as the vehicle of this trend, since it is common for Hollywood to recycle concepts and package them in a new light. That doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing, a lot of the greatest works out there rely on reusing old concepts and adding on to them. Plus, fairy tales can strike a cord with the audience because they're familiar with how these tales went when they were a kid. Seeing them as an adult in a more mature light serves not only to bring them back to the past but also shed light on a theme that can impact them stronger due to them being older, wiser and more experienced. Not only that, but when one looks back at the actual stories that Disney had toned down for them when they were a child, they see that there was much less dancing and singing that took place. If anything, this darkening of the stories can serve to show the audience that they're ready to face a serious take on the tale. The only issue? That's not what's happening.

When I say that these films are gritty, they're not "brooding, cynical, depressing, disturbing" gritty, they're "dark colors, deep voice, strange imagery, maybe-action-like" gritty. That's not to say that the former and the latter are two completely different entities, there's a great deal of works out there can be both, and pull it off well. The graphic novel Watchmen, for example, manages to use the latter to accentuate the themes that revolve around the former. These movies aren't Watchmen though, they're not even close to it, they're more safe in their approach. Yes, you see these dainty, innocent characters become stone-cold killers or brave adventurers or passionate romantics, but the films don't seem to succeed in pulling that off well. One could easily blame this on performers phoning in the performance and portraying them as if all they're expecting out of this is a paycheck, but then what can be said about those who do put forth the effort and come out looking out of place? The only other aspect you could blame is the way it's presented in terms of it's aesthetics and writing for not being able to take proper advantage of the concept.

That, to me, is the biggest problem that faces these films, based on what I've seen so far. It looks edgier, but if you took away that it was a re-imagining of a fairy tale, it might as well be another mediocre fantasy epic that's trying too hard to be epic. You can see in the way that they cut everything fast, rev up the mysterious element that's vaguely there and toning the light down so it feels as though it's going to be intense. Simply giving something a coat of black paint and splattering blood all over the place doesn't immediately cause someone to feel as though what they're watching is more intriguing and risky. Not even raising the stakes to great levels can do that, because it has no substance to it. One could implement any device into a story and give the illusion that it's more that what it appears to be, but if there's no rhyme or reason it, it's basically a waste. The films don't serve to do more with the idea other than make it appear as though it's this cool, new, hip stuff that all the young kids are looking forward to. That, in the end, feels as though it's insulting the younger demographic by fooling them into thinking this is something cooler and it insults the older demographic because they see how absurd it is. There are only three ways I see this upcoming "genre" becoming something wonderful. They either focus on the darker elements of the tale (or attempt to properly add a darker tint to it), not take themselves too seriously and deliver on a better fantasy epic or make it into a dark comedy.

Like I mentioned before, some of the stories that we've heard of before are much less kid-friendly than what we have been given. The Little Mermaid doesn't end with her getting the prince and living happily ever after. It ends on her refusing to kill the prince (who ended up marrying the Sea Witch) to become a mermaid again, throwing herself to the sea, which in turn causes her to turn into foam. Add in that the potion not only made her mute, but also made her feel that every step she made was as if she was getting stabbed with sharp swords and that the prince loved seeing her dance, and you get something that's far too intense and brutal for a little kid to comprehend it's horrible magnitude, let alone read. If one were to make a more mature rendition of this tale, they would take closer note of the harsher aspects of it and be willing to sew them into the narrative properly. Now if the original fairy tale isn't that somber such as Rapunzel, then they shouldn't alter too much other than the tone. That will affect the characters, the setting, some of the progression of the story and perhaps the theme itself, but it should not alter it to a drastic degree. Rather it should stay somewhat rooted to how the story usually moves but let it move with a more desensitized and distorted fashion that usual. That allows not only for the familiarity of the story to be taken into account, but can also leave the viewer interested in how one could view it in a jaded, bitter tone.

That's easier said than done since you can't just snap your fingers and magically make sugar-plums and pixies look like something that come from the lowest levels of Hell. That requires more attention to detail, precision and careful construction. It's not impossible though, but I imagine that's not what they're looking to achieve. They want more of a grand journey sort of romp. In which case, what I recommend is simply...don't take yourself so seriously. It is well-known that no matter how bizarre a concept is, one must play it off to some level of seriousness to give credibility to the world or to become more engrossed in the film. At the same time, if someone wears a giant foam cheese hat on their head and does nothing more than pout, it will either come across as annoying or incredibly silly. One must find a certain balance of knowing how far they can take themselves seriously with the role. They also need to acknowledge the absurdity of the situation, not necessarily by winking to the audience and saying "Yeah, I know it's weird that I want to fuck a wolfman, but you know what they say about guys with furry feet", but by attempting to play on the ridiculousness from time to time and enjoying themselves. In turn, this makes the audience feel as though that even though what they're watching is ludicrous, they're willing to take it in stride and enjoy themselves.

Finally, we have the idea of just making it into a dark comedy. This is perhaps a very effective way of darkening a fairy tale because it not only allows for someone to take in the both types of gritty I mentioned before and use them both to their advantage but also creates a good semblance of what sort of tone a recreation of this sort needs. Although it's not necessarily hilarious nor conventional in its approach (hell, I'm not sure if that's what the author intended), an example that comes to me as a good way to explain how this should be pulled off is the Alice is Dead series. For those of you who don't know, it's a flash game series that turns the well-known characters from Wonderland into mercenaries. At first, it sounds very idiotic, but it's aware that it's not something that one can just simply take seriously, so it makes a lot of references to how the characters are in the story whilst also filling it in with a disturbing tone. The comedy doesn't come so much from how the characters act (well, not intentionally), but rather of the setting and how the characters come to be what they are. It manages to be serious not so much because of the mercenary aspect but rather due to it's odd approach of the tale while also weaving in this world of fantasy that we're familiar with with the world of the mercenary that we're also aware of. The two end up playing off each other as the bits of humor bring you back to a comfort zone that is then slapped away when the grimness settles in. At the end, you find yourself laughing at it slightly, but you also feel weird about laughing about it and seek to look into it more. Whilst one can play a more "make this disturbing scenario more silly" form of dark comedy, giving it a warped, surrealistic tint to the humor allows for that laughter to get them thinking about the gravity of what it occurring, making them more engaged.

It's still hard to say where this movement is going to keep marching through and whether or not it will lead anywhere good. From what I tell from the two latest ones, I'm still very mixed on the matter. Mainly because both present the two possibilities of how the concept could turn out awful. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters feels like it would fair much better if it wasn't attached with the story of Hansel and Gretel. The designs of the witches look phenomenal and the weapons have a certain badass feel to them based on their look, but they feel somewhat unfitting. This is simply due to the association of the story. We know that the basic elements of the tale are intertwined into another tale, but it doesn't mesh right. It comes off as incredibly laughable to turn these two kids who happened to let their sweet tooth get the better of them suddenly decide to go hunting witches. Not only that but the look is unsure if it wants to capture a fairy tale feel or a epic fantasy-adventure feel, so it's caught up in this unpleasant limbo.

Jack The Giant Slayer, on the other hand, isn't actually based on the Jack we usually think of. While the original tale that this film is based on is more complex than some kid who finds a bunch of beans and then climbs a beanstalk to steal from a giant, it decided that it should implement themes from it. My guess is that's it's trying to get the public to relate to it more clearly, but it comes off forced and it acts as a detriment to the whole film by stooping it to a lower level that what it wants to achieve. Excluding the fact that it shoehorns the more relatable Jack fairy tale into its story, the other problem arises in how it tries to be like other grand fantasy films. This might be more to it's advertising, but it feels like they had a checklist and they were making sure that it could properly hit those sweet spots as cliched as possible. Booming voice over? Check. Overview of landscapes as the hero traverses through them? Check. Slight comedy relief? Check. Badass retort? What do you think? Rather than become something more unique (which is what it should be), it clings to the old methods and takes the skin of better movies in the hopes that it may become what that skin represents instead of a disgusting mess. Both advertise themselves as these fantastic adventures, but all I see is a laughable time-waster. Trust me when I say that there are too many of those kinds of films these days.

In the end, if this does become a trend and more movies of this caliber do start to clog up cinemas everywhere, it would be nice to see if they could tap into its greater potential. A wise man once said that there aren't bad ideas when it comes to stories. There are only bad ways of conveying them. Even though their premises are ridiculous, with the right hands, someone could make it into a spectacular experience. By researching more into the original story, they could play up with references to it or give a more faithful rendition of it that amplifies its more macabre tones. It could also accept it's stupidity and make sure that it does enough to deliver this absurd adventure in a way that it is as insane as it it fun. Hell, if it goes that dark comedy route, it may end up as not only a good way to bring forth more avant-garde films into the scene but also provide a somewhat clever and thought-provoking experience. I don't want this to just become another quick-buck fad, nor do I want it to be just a series of misled half-assed projects. Rather, I'd like to see this bring forth tales that will live on as long as the stories they're based off on. That way, the audience can have a happily ever after instead of a "I'm going to write a long, detailed rant damning this film forever" after.

Miller Or Bust: A Case Study Of Why This Generation Sucks

There is no denying that the generation that we now face is perhaps one of the worst to have ever roamed the planet. Sure, we have cures for many diseases, people are now more tolerate to each other's differences and technological advancements are aiding to make our everyday lives better, but that doesn't excuse global warming, overpopulation and perhaps the most damaging elements to the human race...yes...something even more damaging that global warming. I'm talking about the state of pop culture today. Adolescents today are exposed to some of the most banal, abysmal, mind-rotting entertainment that has ever come across. Television is nothing more than a pseudo-reality train wreck, movies are all shine and no substance and music is absolutely disgraceful. Class and wit are gone from the industry and what takes it's place is vapidity and executive greed. The only music outside of the ring of musicians that plague our airwaves that makes it big are the ones that follow some empty fad or those that dare not tiptoe past the boundaries that the mainstream has created. Every once in a while, something comes along that breaks the mold, but it's never something truly ground-breaking. It only ends up being dubstep. Seriously, fuck Daft Punk for starting that bullshit. 

I, being part of the aforementioned group of dimwits, can not be satisfied with listening to trash such as Lady Gaga and T-Pain. Mainly because I think that the former simply uses her appearance to shock others while I consider the latter to be further reason to not care for the rap scene. Seriously, what sort of great wisdom and passion am I going to get from people who've had to live on table scraps and managed to rise up to fame through sheer strength and perseverance? The point is, I am way more sophisticated that those little fucking shits. Rather than look for the future to fulfill my needs of music that provides much more meaning than whatever upcoming rapper is spewing out nowadays, I've decided to look into the past. I looked at CDs, tape cassettes and other outdated means to listen to music and I listened closely and carefully to what they had to offer. None of them could satisfy my needs. Some are too rude and bombastic, others are too quiet and boring. Not even the most popular of the recent past could succeed in pleasing my auditory sense. Queen spouts silly anthems ad nauseum (plus that Freddy Mercury has one of the worst voices in history), The Beatles are hipster bullshit that will never ever catch on and Elvis just stole a genre from the African-Americans and butchered it into his own half-assed attempt. If only there was a time in history where the world wasn't bound by the burdens of possible nuclear annihilation and Kayne West's antics...a time where the music was not only energetic but could also contribute to a greater movement in history. A time like the 20s, 30s and 40s!

Yes, from 1920 to 1949, there was nothing more to than have a grand old time! No one had to worry about another big war taking an incredibly large death tolls, bars were making grand profits with the Prohibition, everyone was economically stable for a while and free to celebrate all they wanted if they had white skin. Yes, there was nothing to worry about back in those days. No depression, no dust in your eyes, no scares of any kind of color, nothing at all. At that time, music broke through boundaries with a hot new sound called jazz. This craze was nothing like your rap music, it only increased in quality as the years went by. Not only that, but it spread to various genre, such as swing, blues, ragtime and many more. It was not only something that revolutionized the music industry but it was also something that could really change and impact the world rather than deteriorate its intelligence. As we all know, for a movement to really get moving, it needs a pioneer. That pioneer was Alton Glenn Miller.

Many of you uncultured swine may not be aware of who Mr. Miller is. Truth be told, it doesn't surprise me that you wouldn't know anything unless the Simpsons referenced it to you. Glenn Miller is perhaps one of the most influential musicians in history. Born in Clarinda, Iowa on March 1st, 1904, Glenn found himself moving from state to state. As he wandered around in other places, he found himself appreciating other sounds and enjoying them as well. So much so that he managed to get himself a trombone and joining his high-school band in Fort Morgan, Colorado in 1918. He dropped out of college in 1923 and went around from band to orchestra, to carry out his admiration for music. In 1934, he started to record under his own name and 3 years later he tried to form his own band. Even though it failed miserably, he still persevered. Slowly, he climbed his way to the top and by 1939, he was the biggest artist ever known. Much bigger than...what's his name...he shot himself in the head...his band had something to do with Buddha...ah, you probably don't know him.

The reason why I bring up Glenn Miller is not only to honor the man that strengthened the big band movement but to also show to others what a true, dignified artist is. For Glenn Miller represented what was right about being a musician. In fact, most musicians of his era, and most jazz/swing artists in general had a certain charisma and charm to them. It was something you could admire and appreciate no matter what age you were. You didn't have to be bounded by the angst and utter idiocy that comes with being a teenager. In fact, if you were a teenager at that time, you'd probably be learning more about this grand world and not be hooked on any sort of crazy drugs today. That, and you'd be one corny son-of-a-bitch, but that's not the point. The point is Glenn Miller did much better with his music than what is occurring today. It reflected onto his society positively rather than what these modern morons do with their terrible tunes. You could actually feel smart and learn a few things if you looked at what he had to offer. You certainly aren't getting a good education with Carly Rae Jepsen, that's for damn sure. That, and he's a shining representation of an artist who will live through the ages thanks solely to his music. Not like Micheal Jackson, who'll only be remembered for pedophilia charges, the sick fuck. I'm sure he'll fade off pretty soon. 

For starters, you could actually tell apart a Glenn Miller song from the others. He himself once said "A band ought to have a sound all of its own. It ought to have a personality". Telling from his wide array of compositions, there was no denying that he carried out with his words. From the elegant, graceful melodies of Moonlight Serenade to the jumpy, vibrant jig that is American Patrol to a mix of both with In The Mood, Glenn Miller knew how to mix and match properly. With his vast knowledge of listening to other musicians, he could borrow from them and give his songs a sense of culture to them. He knew that variety was the spice of life and gave us something unique every time. You can't tell Beyonce from Rihanna no matter how many times you listen to their songs. Even if you could, they do the same thing over and over again like a broken record. And I sure as hell don't like it when people scratch my Miller records. That wouldn't be so bad, but everyone seems to enjoy the monotony that current artists bring. Whatever happened to taking a chance, huh? No one's trying new key signatures, mixing their style up to create a rich, intriguing sound or even spouting a few seeds of wisdom here and there. The only chances artists take is with their wardrobes and that sure as hell does nothing other than make us pester our parents to buy us useless possessions like the collection of expensive watches my dad bought me.

Another thing very notable of Mr. Miller is that he was an incredibly humble man. He wasn't "interested in making money", he followed his passion as a musician. A lot of people praised him for his great jazz band, but he says that he doesn't have one, nor should he want one. He never thought of himself as a master of his domain, he just "want[ed] the image to be recognizable". It may border on self-deprecation, but I can assure you that a man of his magnitude was not one to pity. He made 20,000 dollars a week, but it didn't change him at all. Glenn Miller just cared about the music and making his mark on the industry. That is someone to admire as a role model. Someone clean and refined. Nowadays you give some starving artist 20,000 dollars and they'll think they're cock of the walk. Why? Because that's what you see. Shallow, greedy artists throwing their money around the streets, convincing the impressionable youth that being a materialistic prick is the right path. No one cares for values or codes of ethics, they just want to buy shiny jewelry and snort cocaine off a hooker's rear. I swear, I just want to drive up by these ingrates and shoot them one by one. 

Speaking of shooting, did you know that Glenn Miller joined the war effort in '42? Probably not, you insipid imbecile. Yes, this patriotic fellow served in the Army Air Force Band, entertaining the troops. He created a weekly radio broadcast called I Sustain The Wings designed to not only to further amuse the soldiers but to also get the Americans at home enjoying their favorite tunes. In 1944, he recorded some of the songs with his orchestra in German. Now you may not see what the big deal about that is, but keep in mind that Miller's style was usually delightful and could bring a smile to anyone. They figured that if they made these recordings and the Germans would listen to them, they'd feel sad that their English-speaking enemies were having more fun, which would psychological mess them up. With all his efforts, he managed to rise up to major. Major Miller. Major. Fucking. Miller. When's the last time you heard about Justin Bieber getting a medal of honor, hmm? I don't think Andy Samberg has aided the Afghanistan troops, all he does is act like a fucking retarded fratboy for your amusement. None of these artists do anything to help in the war effort. Hell, they don't even protest it! They don't voice any sort of opinion on any matter whatsoever, leaving people oblivious to the grander world that surrounds them. They do nothing influential  in this world other than spew garbage. What does everyone do thanks to them? Nothing. What do we do about it? Nothing. We do nothing but let our intelligence wither away into a realm of hackneyed, trite bullshit! That's all you immature, pathetic fools do, just jack off to talentless asshats and laugh at the geniuses who paved the path for them simply because you think that the old is not worthy of your time! All of you sicken me and I hope all of you burn in the deepest levels of HELL! GO. FUCK. YOURSELVES!!

On Decemeber, 15, 1944, his plane disappeared over the English Channel. He left behind his wife, Helen Burger, his children, and a legacy that will live longer than anyone's career today. Miller was a leader, an innovator, a role-model and a great asset to the war effort. Sure, he may have not be the most risky nor the most witty of artists out there, but he gave something more to society. Miller gave the world happiness, hope, bravery, perseverance and honor. One must have these things into to make it big and show the world that there is more to just what confines them. I know that when one looks back in history, they find matters that are troubling, confusing and mostly boring. I know that it's not easy to do something that isn't confined to the social stigmas. All I urge you to do is to listen to some of his music. Take in the graceful symphonies he has to offer. Then go around, looking at others like Duke Ellington, Gordon Goodwin and Gene Krupa. Have a sense of culture to yourself. Make yourself into a refined individual rather than a lowlife urchin. Do that, and maybe I can consider you as a human being rather than a brain-dead sheep. Or don't, I couldn't give two fucks on what you do, you despicable pile of roach shit. Either way, I'm right and thus superior to all of you brats who don't invite me to any of your crazy parties. Argue otherwise and you're nothing more than a bully who spends their time picking on people that while they don't fit your standards, enjoy life more than you ever will! 

We leaders are criticized for a lot of things. It's always true after a band gets up there and is recognized by the public - Major Alton Glenn Miller

Top 5 Personal Best Albums of Breakbit 2012

AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS IS MY OPINION, NOT THE GENERAL CONSENSUS OF THE PUBLIC. JUST WANT TO THROW THAT OUT THERE FOR CLARIFICATION

There was a lot of great music that came out of Breakbit this year. From the newcomers to the old timers, everyone managed to do a fantastic job with their work. I've decided to look over all of the work and have picked the top 5 to talk about. It was a difficult task as I had to cut Metrosound's magnificently mysterious albums, Poopooface's wacky tunes among many more. This may sound like I'm being nothing more than an ass-kisser here, but a lot of you at Breakbit make wonderful stuff, and I suggest you keep it up. With that out of the way, lets get to my top 5 picks.

5. Progressive Acid Jazz by RookieTheCook

Breakbit has a large assortment of overlooked artists that range from pumping albums like mad or throwing one album into the ring to await response and then venture away, hardly to be heard from again. RookieTheCook manages to be the latter and it is understandable to see why his work has been looked away from. The sound that usually derives from Breakbit isn't particularly associated with a jazzy groove. It's more on the experimental, trip-hop and dance rave side of music. It's a shame that because of its direction it's not looked upon more, because this album is beyond sublime. Every song from "All The Good Things" to "NZT-48" utilizes the bizarre background noise, noticeable rhythm track and smooth melody template wonderfully. The songs end up settling into the mellow infrastructure of jazz but also envelop themselves in the manipulation of the samples that allow for the music to feel more free and loose. Some songs even have a very distinct tint to them, such as the vinyl record effect of "Azure" and the waiting room-like style of "Mindstate". Ignoring the 3 skits that Rookie throws into the mix, this concept of progressive acid jazz must be looked upon further. If Rookie will release more to Breakbit, he should make a considerable effort to develop further on this style.

4. Greengums by Vaervaf

While RookieTheCook's style doesn't fall through to the frame that Breakbit has set up, Vaervaf helps to construct the frame even further with his unique sound. He has always had a gleam of experimentation in his eye and Greengums captures that surrealistic element of his work quite well. Each song is filled with emotion that has been mangled to such lengths that it's incomprehensible. Most of the songs have a great melody and beat to them, and some of the more grating sections in a song end up fitting well to the tune itself. The song titles and lyrics are nothing more than cryptic Mad Libs, all that is left from listening to this album is a sensation of uncertainty. There's so many different techniques implemented into the songs that it's hard to classify the album other than saying that it's experimental. That tone is what makes the album so great because it leaves it up to the interpretation of the listener. One could find "moxlienve" to be a lingering emptiness or a pseudo-ambient piece or "brik" to be looking into the mind of a shy person ridden with ADHD or a maddening variation of a quasi-folk song. Really, it depends on whether Vaervaf is trying to convey a simply message through abstract means or taking genres and altering them beyond recognition. Since that's what the album bases itself upon, it leaves for a lot of replayability and enables the listener to continue listening.

3. Disruptor by mrSimon

Never before has a musical tribute to a children's cartoon been crafted with such a level of complexity that could easily be found in a more independent album. Not only does each song create a tone that can easily be associated with by the style that it follows but it also follows to a "three act" structure that moves the song along phases that play off just the right amount of intensity needed. The samples resemble a Pogo-esque approach which helps to not only properly shine light to the source but also weaves itself well into the progression of the song. Tracks like "Constant" and "Fine Day For Science" take it to a degree where the samples build up to later ooze out all the passion in such an angelic way. Other tracks like "Drop That Monkey" and "Past The Bolter Door" serve well as dance/rave tunes with it's faster pace and higher emphasis with the rhythm. It does help that guest artists Dainumo, Jeesh, glue70 and T-Sex either create their own tracks to play into the nostalgic connection or remix previous tracks mrSimon made to get people who have no relation whatsoever to Dexter's Lab enjoying the album just as much.

2. Autism And Recipes by DR777

It's hard to put into words how magnificent and intriguing Autism And Recipes is. This is mainly due to how all over the place it is. As it is well known, DR777 doesn't adhere to any rules when it comes to creating content. He just selects a wide array of different samples and collides them all into one product. It somehow manages to work in such a way that said product ends up becoming a very interesting work of art. Most of the songs follows a somewhat funky feel to them, but none of the songs seem to be the same in their progression. While this shows the level of skill and depth that goes into the work of DR777, it becomes difficult to explain the strengths of the album without going through a detailed explanation of each song. The best way to put it is that no matter how chaotic or how relaxed the music is, all of the songs feel like a collage put together in a way that everything belongs there and it's placed in the right spot and in the right way. If that doesn't suffice to explain how well-done Autism and Recipes is, then the next-best course of action is to purchase it. The album's a mere 5 dollars, so that's the least one can do to support an ever-growing artist.

1. Worldwide Digitizing by glue70

Glue70 had two fantastic albums released this year, so it was a difficult choice on which one should end up here. While both are absolutely delightful, Worldwide Digitizing brought out another side of glue70. Rather than basing tracks around samples and adding a few rhythm tracks below it, this album delved more into having glue70 make his own sound and then injecting samples into it so that it enhances the final product. It also manages to appeal to a larger base of listeners since the sound is less stylized and more simplistic. That's not to say that the music doesn't have an aura to it that can't be associated with glue70 and that his other works are far too complicated for the average listener, it's just filtered better for a "mainstream" crowd. The true beauty of the album is how most (if not all) of the songs can easily be transmitted to an [adult swim] bump such as "Sines Point To Yes", "Destiny Avenue" and "Peniclean". It just has such a cool vibe to it that could hook anyone in just a mere snap of the fingers. Simply put, this album has a great selection of well-made and rich-sounding tunes and it shows a more creative and precise personality of an already creative and precise artist.

The Difference Between Meaningful and Meaningless Artsy Works

There's nothing a high-brow culture connoisseur likes more than viewing art and talking about how it's meaningful. Whether it's delving into the symbolism that a work possesses or debating with other fellows of similar stature on how poignant the hidden message is, the connoisseur simply enjoys discussing about impacting pieces of art. Now sometimes these people can be looking too much into whatever they wish to deem as art. Sometimes it may be beautiful, contain absolutely stunning imagery but it could mean nothing more than the artist has a creative imagination. Other times, these connoisseurs end up reading between the lines of pure drivel. Here's the thing, while there are works out there that have terrible (or terribly conveyed) messages behind them, that doesn't necessarily mean that they have no meaning within them. What I want to get into is how can one see if something truly contains an underlying purpose behind it, serves to be nothing more than an attempt to be edgy or simply has nothing more to show other than the product itself.

Let's assume that our work of art is a film, for the sake of argument. The first thing that signifies that there is meaning within a work is if the scenario contains depth. Stories that have their hero and villain set in stone hardly have anything more to them other than a basic action/adventure romp. The characters that matter in the story must have layers to them. They must have complexity to them, whether it comes mostly from their past, their relationships with other characters or their own personality by themselves. By having this, there is evidence that the characters in the story are not only realistic, but they are also bound to change. Without change, there is no greater conflict that can be pursued, and without conflict, there is nothing that can lead to moments where characters have to make their own choices.

Even with complex characters, for a story to push forth greater meaning, there must be events that are specific to the story that lead for the character to come up with a choice. When characters are placed into a position where they must decide on their next course of action, that eventually leads to a reaction. That result in turn creates turning points in the story, and when a story shifts in different directions, it keeps the mind going. If that is occurring, then the work is off to a good start on building itself as a trenchant masterpiece. Keep in mind though, there are a lot of creations out there that aren't as intricate that continue to get the attention of others. I mean, there are a lot of movies, books, etc. out there that have a wide array of three-dimensional characters yet they only serve to create a intriguing tale rather than push forth a challenge in the viewer's life. Something more must be done to show that it is not just an engaging series of events or a vapid, empty pile of drivel.
 

Enter juxtaposition, one of the most remarkable tools out there for anyone who wants to make art that is thought-provoking. It isn't necessary to include this into a work for it to possess meaning. It just helps out a lot. See, juxtaposition uses the idea of contrast to exemplify an idea. The way it works is similar to a chemical reaction. You place two compounds together, sit back and watch what occurs. Both of them will start to work off one another and spark all sorts of interesting imagery. It keeps on going for a while, building up with all sorts of sounds and sights until it starts to cool off. What's left is the product of what the two have managed to birth from the reaction. This product is precisely the intent of why these two differing compounds were put together. To me, an example would help a lot to further explain my point.

While I am not a fan of "Natural Born Killers", the I Love Mallory scene is a perfect example of juxtaposition at it's finest. Take note of the background, it resembles a standard 70-80s sitcom (despite having a name that resembles more of a 50s sitcom). There's a studio audience, canned laughter, bright music, and a somewhat goofy approach in the delivery of dialogue. It's supposedly a delightfully chirpy scene by what you are being presented with. Consider what is actually being conversed though. What stems out of this conversation is tension within the family, profanity, physical abuse and incestuous sexual abuse. One can not help but think that enveloping such dark tones in an almost-saccharine environment must signify a commentary towards society. It's difficult to say unless we have more information.

A good way to assure that what you are gazing upon aims to stimulate your thought-process is if it gives away indication that said idea is possible. As I have stated above, juxtaposition is a wonderful way to push forth this, but it doesn't have to be the only way. Symbolism is also key to this, as it hints to what really is going on beneath the surface. It shows that the choices that were made aren't just there coincidentally or to throw in a reference to something the creator enjoys, but rather a lead-in to a greater subtext. The thing about certain forms of symbolism though is for it to become engrained in your mind, it must be repeated for a while. As we all have learned from watching shows such as Sesame Street and Blue's Clues, if you repeat something enough, a person will eventually have an idea stuck in their mind. That in turn is what hooks the viewer to want to figure out more about the work itself. The problem with that is that it could become too obvious for the public to understand what the work is talking about. If it becomes too obvious, it falls into the risk of becoming a failed ploy to disguise pseudo-intellectualism as actual intellectualism (or at the very least being seen as such). Clearly that's not a fate that a purposeful piece wants to succumb to. What should be done then?

Rather than make the symbolism for the whole world to see, there are artists out there who specialize in making the greater symbolism cryptic. The idea behind this is that if you throw a few indications that there's more to what is happening, your audience will want to look deeper into the work itself. It stimulates their own mind and continues to get them considering the possibilities. One way that this is done is by using subtext. Again, let's use the example of films to better explain what I mean. Professional actors have to work into understanding their character in and out and have to know how they'd react with whatever crosses their path. At the same time, they must abide to what the script says because that's what the director seeks. Sure, they can occasionally throw in an improvisation or two, but unless the director is okay with it, it won't make it on the final print. So if they want to convey a certain feeling while following the script, they implement subtext. They try giving different inflections and tones in their voice, they see where they can pause for effect, and/or they use certain gestures as they say the line. If done right, the viewer can understand something more about the situation.

What you have to be wary of is how these hints are handled. If it's too subtle, it could be unlikely that whatever you pull out from it is of any real substance by whoever created the work of art. Basically, it comes off as if you're grasping at straws. If it's too blatant, chances are that it wasn't really there to get you pondering about an issue but rather finding a way to be relevant to the masses. When that becomes the case, it could end up as more of a joke rather than something that should be taken seriously. There needs to be a balance of both the blatant and the subtle for the message to not only be conveyed well, but also be seen as something of substance. Sure, the message in question may not be the best one, but if the creator can at least handle it with a certain sense of finesse, it could end up alright. And while it's obvious that there can't be too little of these hints, there can't be too many of them either, even if all of them are subtle.

For a person to comprehend a situation that is presented to them, they must have a bit of time to let it sink in. They may have to react fast, they may have to carefully calculate their next move, it doesn't matter. A work of art must allow for the person to look within themselves and see all the possibilities that they can. When something impacts them, they must be able to feel it and take in what has been dealt to them. It must get them wondering if they should change their perspective on a matter rather than just be aware of it. Even if it doesn't fully cause the audience to make them turn around on their principles, it must still do something that makes them understand where your message is coming from. If you find yourself in that spot, whether you're in the midst of experiencing the artwork or afterwards, that proves that whatever you saw has meaning.

At the end of the day, with all of this said and done, what makes the art possess meaning is that it treats it's audience with dignity. Dignity is what separates George Orwell from Ayn Rand and Francis Ford Coppola from Harmony Korine. It does not degrade you to a status of a plebeian and insult you for not following with it's elitist agenda. Rather it shows you another side of a matter. Sometimes that other side can be a harsh truth or a terrifying plausibility much like how Big Brother functions in "1984". Other times it shows that not everything is black and white. In reality, there are various shades of grey in our world. Mobsters don't always commit crimes simply because that's what they do. It does not just serve as propaganda, because while there are certain kinds of propaganda that are marvelous, it doesn't let whoever is watching feel as though they have something that they could offer to the table. Art is supposed to feel as if you're in the midst of a debate rather than being shouted in the ear on why their message is right. Meaningful art also does not use unsettling imagery as the only means to get its point across. One can still have surreal and disturbing imagery in art and still give it meaning. Darren Aronofsky's "Requiem For A Dream" and Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas" are among some of those works that use them well because the images are there to emphasize a point rather than be there for the sake of being there. One can say that masturbating a tree branch could mean something, but if there is no cohesion of the imagery with the narrative or the narrative is non-existent, then it has no meaning at all. 

Truth be told, finding if the art itself has meaning is a difficult task. Even with all the guidelines I have given you, some of the most intriguing magnum opuses out there could easily just be an expression of creativity rather than a biting social satire or a critical look at the human condition. At some points, we find ourselves so enamored with a creation that we witness that we find some sort of meaning within it, whether it possesses it or not. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it shows that the art has done enough to engage you. A work doesn't need to have a great deal of sophistication to it to do that. Having meaning in art doesn't necessarily result in the art being enjoyable because the meaning could be nothing more than hatred or ignorance. Meaning only aids a creation if it pushes the mind forward rather than setting it back. When it does that, that's when the art becomes much more that just a poignant masterpiece. What it becomes is a statement that triggers a revolution. It could be small and slow, it could be grand and fast, it could change a part of the world or all of it, it doesn't matter. What matters is that when we come across a work that can do this, we will change for the better.

An Interview With Vaervaf

I decided that I would go ahead and interview Vaervaf, since I had recently gotten into listening to his work. Please be aware that this interview was done via Skype chat.

First question, tell me a little about your past.

Any prospect of making music seriously came from the glory days of YouTube Poop in 2008 when people started realizing their edits could be musical and it was all completely alien to us and beautiful. Back then I made YouTube Poop with the 2nd worst to Windows Movie Maker, Imovie HD. God that was fun, my stuff was pretty bad but I just ate comments and eventually I realized I could make short clips with the same time and jump them around. I'll find some old garbage for example because back then it was so incredible to me *burps tomatoes*

Oh Christ... THIS 

I remember being curled fetally with a laptop making this completely engrossed and this is one track. The peak of that feeling was Corkvein, like Regional Champs. Sheer effort and weaving. These days I'm trying to just... screech? Pop screech. Anyway that's how I met jeri/orangy we were little YouTube Poop buddies, we appreciated the art.

So, I'm guessing that YouTube Poop was what inspired you to make music?

Yeah. Also I was into a LOT of slick sample loop garbage, stuff I PHYSICALLY can't listen to these days, like lemongrass and hip hop instruments. (link) I went through all the Grease stuff in Weaveknee. That was a blast.

Who are some of your favorite music artists?

I just got over Death Grips, right now I'm listening to Danny Brown, Duncan Sheik and screechy dubstep. When I can't decide between any of those I listen to Giles Corey. I'm kind of staring at Spotify trying to think of others. I listen to my music and jeris more than anything else. There's also Peter Gabriel's soundtrack to the Last Temptation of Christ and scattered Arabic music albums.

What albums that you've made so far were the most challenging to put together?

Corkvein I edited the most but that's because it had intricacies that required it and I loved it and wanted it perfect. I don't really do that anymore. The hardest to make was Flarehand. I was just in a bad mindset. What came after that one? Hold on...

I think it was Cork. Yeah I was folding in on myself. I really hate Flarehand.

What about your favorite albums that you've made?

Emotionally, Weaveknee. Technically, Corkvein. Favorite is probably whatever is most recent. Although I'm starting to fold in on myself again. So Eyepox is a little shaky.

Actually no, I like Eyepox because I think I finally made the weird opera I was thinking about way back when I made World Boss March.

In Spinefold, some of the songs that were on there seem to also be part of Orangy's Soundcloud. Did he really have a part in making the album or is it some sort of a pratical joke?

He just made the songs and gave them to me, I made the second half of Random funny internet memes, I guess. He always has a part, either way.

What made you want to take such a bizarre turn with Hipcatch and Greengums?

I didn't make music for a long time because the new WoW expansion came out. I switched computers and didn't have my big library of music to edit anymore, so I just starting recording white noise and me going AAAAAAAAAAAAA and the 808 kick I got from jeri. I really wanted to develop what I started with spinefold's summer roll and chewing the witness, because I connected with those.

Were the lyrics in Greengums basically random words put together for the sake of it or was there something more to it?

Hold on let me look at them...

Yeah, Greengums is a tapestry, I really appreciate Sam for the cover because it captures the feeling really nicely.I lobbed jux out of nowhere and wanted to keep talking about it, neat lifestyle and social decay/evolution.I probably won't end up writing lyrics for Eyepox because it's too primal. I like it better that way

I'll get specific: brik is a love song for shitty weird internet friends and sources of stimuli and endorphins. It revolves around comfort, squirming and activities. I should mention that I haven't written a song once, although I had the Shane Dawson's coffin thing in my head a lot for jux. I improvise and if it sounds right I keep it. Finding out what the lyrics were happened when I was done, I went and took everything off and isolated them to find out what they really meant. It helps a lot for singing it, writing lyrics does. Elliom is practical application and getting money from the internet; tense shoulders, operations. Yumdeath is a trip to the gas station to get dosage of high fructose corn syrup and seeing real humans. Laodl is the most scared and vulnerable one, trying to drag people down with him under the guise and having a hard on for conviction when there isn't much of a leg to stand on. It's fucking miserable lol. 

Top ten tips is really clear really developed, I can explain each and every thing about that one. Jux is kind of the material plane besides taking place in the future which is weird. Top ten tips is a mirror of it because it's the internal/spiritual side of the general computer wastoid. I don't think a lot of people ever get past me saying top ten tips and fucking freaking out in the beginning. I was trying to show saturation of shit nobody cares about the things that just sit at the bottom of the net like fish shit on the rocks, the name comes from those web ads that are like, one secret tip to losing weight, one weird trick, top ten mom tips...but anyway thats what it is. Garbage and it gets melted by the screech.

What can we expect from your next album, Eyepox?

Same old shit, just more attached and hashy, like buried in hay. More cooing vocals. 

How long does it usually take you to make an album or a song?

Songs sit in a project file until I put them on an album, it isn't really a question of time anymore it's when I feel confident enough in a package, that's proving hard for Eyepox. I'm not on some timetable, I used to clock 30 minutes a month. Despite actually having games to play, I'm steady on music work, it's just not satifying because I keep making the same stuff. Like I said I need a new angle.

What games do you play?

I really hate video games, video game people and video game culture but I'm deep into World of wWrcraft right now with a couple other  friends and we're on a roleplaying server because we all like to write, even if it's about shithead orcs elves and armored corpses. Last thing I was playing was arma 2, a military simulation which is like call of duty except the person you need to shoot is a mile away, also you have to read maps and pretend to be tactical even if the enemy AI and general clunkiness of the game eradicates any notion of realism. I play GTA 4 because I appreciate the physicality of everything and the gunplay. I like Fallout New Vegas because you can play a card game in it.

Why do you hate video games and things that revolve around it?

They are poorly made and blown out of proportion and not worth a "hobby", millions of dollars are stuck in them but they don't exploit the potential they could. I also hate that one of the only things I can actually connect with someone about in person is probably that they play some shitty video game that I've either heard of or played. I hate couples that both play video games, I hate Skyrim, I hate Minecraft. I kind of want to fall face first into a mattress and become encased in stone. That's a video game. I mean you could fool these idiots into thinking it's a video game. But no it's just the climate and the media surrounding it like "gaming journalism". This guy who got a degree in journalism to talk about this medium that has money pouring in and out from every orifice and doesn't have much to show for it and people don't get it. It's because i'm on a higher level of consciousness for better or worse, I'm living a video game.

Do you view other industries, such as the movie industry or the music industry, the same way that you do video games?

No, I have a huge languishing gooey love of pop music whether or not the production is bad or not, like have you ever listened to an instrumental of California Girls? Me and jeri are inspired by NSYNC a lot, old pop is better. I don't like k-pop because it isn't catchy and movie people are just insipid. Who cares if I like Ghost in The Shell and SLC Punk?

Any favorite movies?

Charlies Angels (the one with Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore), Heathers, American Psycho, SLC Punk, Trainspotting, Ghost In The Shell, Fight Club (despite the shithead meme fanbase and MRA masturbation, it has a really good soundtrack), Kung Pow: Enter The Fist, and Harry Brown

Do you have any hobbies?

I write, draw, can't skateboard or even look at skateboarders because it makes me miserable ever since I dislocated my shoulder doing it, opening folding knives with thubscrew, I'd like to take up fondling guns, people tell me I like to walk too much, standing in the cold or pretending I'm in stalingrad, dancing, badmiton, watching tennis, cool clothes.

Before I conclude this interview is there anything you'd like to end off with?

Remember not to watch To Catch a Predator vids on YouTube because you'll be in the related videos for 5 hours. Thank you!!

Check out his work over here: http://www.breakbitmusic.com/artist/vaervaf