With Trump defeated, most of us are left with a decent idea of what a Biden administration will look like in the next four year: par-for-the-course, limp-dick, let's-all-get-into-a-room-together-and-hash-it-out-like-civilized-folk-to-bomb-the-Middle-East-bipartisanly, boring-yet-frustrating business as usual. But what will become of the late night comedy landscape now that it will no longer have to draw from the well of hackneyed "orange man bad" material? Are we gonna be able to turn off our brains and finally have some fucking fun? Or will we still have to be nagged in believing the Democrats are just the greatest until humanity ceases to exist from its own follies? Allow me to game out the potential possibilities of what humor will be like under Joe Biden's America. (I'm sure I'll be wrong on some of these but at least I'll have better luck than the last time I did something like this)
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Stephen Colbert (The Late Show With Stephen Colbert)
Oof, can I just be real with you for a second? I hate what Stephen Colbert has become under Trump. When we awaited to see what it would be like to see Stephen the man, not the character, what we found is that the smugness and the ego from the latter absorbed itself into the former. That man has been rotted from the inside out by the orange brainworms that have infested his head, trying to rationalize how this reality-show buffoon could ascend to the highest office in the land. Colbert has been unable to think about Trump far more than anyone else out here and it has sucked out all the talent that one could've hoped to see from him. You look at every interview Colbert has done with someone and he will immediately try to get at least one question in to get a dig at the Donald. Even if his guest is an apolitical Irish flautist, he cannot help himself. It's truly been sad to see.
Much as that has brought him success these past four years, Biden getting in might be the point where his whole operation comes crashing down. Colbert's maintained his success on the Report because he was able to fit into the archetype of the Bush-era sycophant turned Obama-era reactionary in such a way that could garner him interest from conservatives while also letting liberals in on the joke. He's kept himself afloat because he bet right to go for the hyperpolitical approach over trying to come to the middle. But now, he's gonna be adrift in an environment that is most likely going to tune out politics rather than expect his "hot" takes.
Maybe he'll try to bring back Stephen Colbert the character, but the magic will have worn off. He certainly can't get back the conservative audience he lost, they already know how much of a lib he is! And for the bit to really work, he would have to become on par or crazier than Alex Jones. If he can't pull it off, it's gonna look lame. If he can, it's gonna be very weird. Best case for him is to try to channel some Phil Ken Sebben energy and become a caricature of himself as a late-night host. Being self-aware and making a few more self-deprecating jokes might be able to get him back to being as good as he used to be.
John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)
While Oliver is the progenitor of the Drumpf-style humor, he's been more defined by the half-topical, half-idiosyncratic political issues he divulges into before finding some new way to set a pile of HBO's money on fire. He's the epitome of infotainment, somewhat informative, not quite so entertaining. His show has been useful in illuminating some issues and he can be daring enough to stir up legitimate controversy, but he's never going to get into the greater systemic critique or put himself outside of his comfort zone for an issue no matter how hard he firmly believes in it. He'll stay as is, which may make him the most controversial figure in a Biden presidency as even a milquetoast criticism of his administration would trigger the rabid snarling of a thousand blue checkmarks, but that would be unlikely considering Oliver's style. Even if he did step out of line a bit, he'd quickly try to win over the audience by parading a bunch of mascots out taking about potato battery subsidies or whatever the fuck. Expect him to bring out a lot more goofy news items.
Saturday Night Live
Could it be that we get to see some wonderfully absurd sketches becoming viral instead of the mega-cringe that has inundated our social media feeds for what feels like decades? Will we see a return of the SNL movie starring a millennial influencer that becomes a gay guido from smoking a magical vape pen? Will the hosts become increasingly offensive to joyless social justice warriors for speaking the truth to the point that the entire series will end with one of them getting sucker punched by Kate McKinnon dressed up as Hillary Clinton? Or will the torture never end and we will be subject to an interminable fellatio of Biden and the Democrats mixed in with reactionary garbage that no one asked for? Who's to say? I'm just so tired...
Jimmy Kimmel (Jimmy Kimmel Live)
Four words: No more carelord Jimmy. Those tear ducts of his are almost going to be bone-dry. No doubt he'll still be kind of an abrasive dick, that's his brand, but it won't be so much at the service of demanding that the Republicans shows some decency. Instead it'll be to try and hook Joe Rogan on a gotcha when he has the audacity to invite him over for a quasi-friendly chat. It won't be on some political disagreement, no, he'll be trying to stir up some drama. He'll be glad to be able to cut loose a bit more, get to doing some more promotional work for the mouse, but I'm sure that once a real critical issue comes up, he's gonna have to get back to being serious for the sake of civility.
Jimmy Fallon (The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon)
Just as Colbert is likely to nose-dive, Fallon is likely to sky rocket as the new king of late night. All that shit that he's had to endure from folks that told him that he was wrong to ruffle that tangerine fascist's toupee like he was some loveable scamp will have been worth it when those same people are agog in childish delight over him playing life-size Hungry Hungry Hippos with Lil Nas X and John Kasich. If brunch moved to midnight under a Biden administration, his show will be main thing you'll see on the TV screens at the bar. That will be the panem et circenses for the American suburbanite.
Seth Meyers (Late Night With Seth Meyers)
Definitely not gonna see much change with him, he's the cool glass of water of late night - not the most flavorful but sufficiently refreshing. He'll still do A Closer Look. There may be a joke that might get a few people angry if he gets a little too off-script, but he'll apologize immediately for it. That outrage will only happen once in the next four years. Nothing but smooth sailing.
Bill Maher (Real Time With Bill Maher)
Another person that is not going to see much change. Get ready to see him punch down to the left, saying that they should stop getting so uppity about Medicare 4 All or a Green New Deal when Joe (excuse me, Kamala, we all know she's gonna be running things while Sleepy Joe takes a nap *smug grin*) still has to clean up the mess Donald left him. He'll certainly want to talk tough to the Dems for being capital L losers with the senate still stuck in Republican hands. And once the dial on starting a war with Iran gets cranked up by the deep state, he'll be ready to cheerlead them on in the name of logic, science and atheism. Inshallah? I think not!
Samantha Bee (Full Frontal With Samantha Bee)
Initially I thought that Samantha Bee wouldn't have much of a place under a Biden administration and she'd most likely pack it in and be on her merry way but then it just hit me. Kamala Harris is the first female (and POC) vice president of the United States! She finally has the girlboss that she's been waiting for ever since she said I'm With Her to a smiling picture of Hillary Clinton. Not only can she carve out a suitable niche there, she can also try to angle for the Fox and Friends to Kamala's Trump, doing her best to sing her praises whenever she can, indulge in her being the true leader once Joe forgets where he is in the 10th consecutive press conference he's had, even offer her some suggestions like "abolish ICE (or if that's too much, maybe change the head of the department to a Latina?" or "do not listen to a word that Bernie Sanders has to say ever". If it goes well for her, she might be able to get a few on-air calls from the VPOTUS herself!
Trevor Noah (The Daily Show With Trevor Noah)
Done for good. He tried to keep the brand going once Stewart gave him the torch but it did not last for too long, there's just nothing that he's offering that you can't get anywhere else. You think he's going to get tons of press attention for eviscerating Biden or whoever in the next few years? No, of course not! The Daily Show is going to end not with a bang but with the forced corpsing of Trevor Noah seeing Ted Cruz make an ass out of himself for the millionth time. Or it could continue to stay on but go back to the Craig Kilborn formula. Either way, no one's gonna be watching.
Hasan Minhaj (Patriot Act With Hasan Minhaj)
Super donezo. There's three ways this can go: he gets cancelled mid-season from Netflix shitting the bed and sacrificing his show along with a bunch of other shows that didn't get any advertising whatsoever, he turns into a program that exclusively panders to Indians and Muslims just as a matter to maintain a loyal viewership, or, in a very unlikely event, he makes some truly ballsy criticisms about the Biden administration that result in him getting blackballed from the industry in a truly sickening way.
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I'll give it a year and see where we go from there!
(P. S. - Conan O'Brien and James Corden are not included here because in my view Conan is far more apolitical than Fallon and therefore has not been in the crosshairs in any political sense (thereby meaning that he will stay the same as he was before without much to say on the matter) and Corden is only a late night comedy figure in the most technical definition of the words)
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