Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Top 20 Aqua Teen Hunger Force Episodes (10 - 1)

Oh brother, now we're getting into the juicy part of the list!

10.  The Granite Family

I'm starting this part of the list with an episode from the Something You Know Whatever season again? Huh...anyways, the episode centers around a Flintstones-like show with the eponymous title which Master Shake doesn't enjoy because of how his environment doesn't resemble that of the show. So like any sane person, he goes into the president's office and launches nukes to Russia, starting WWIII. Most of the episode is with the Aqua Teens being with Carl in his bunker, as Meatwad finds himself scared and Carl continues to bring his aesthetic of hair metal and love for drinking even in the midst of an attack. Master Shake constantly references the show, making remarks like how he brings a dead bird and uses it as a recorder and how it should say something funny about it's day job. What's more amusing than the stab at the classic Hanna-Barbara production is when you bring in the character of Time Warner who has a Porky-Pig esque voice and a fox who mostly goes woo-hoo. The whole dialogue that Time Warner has with the characters makes this episode for me, and the ending itself is incredibly fitting for the situation.

9. Bookie

Something I've noticed is that when this show pins someone as the pain pinata, it's always a blast to see the misery that ensues. I mean they're food, you can't feel sorry for food. And much less Master Shake, because as much as he's a loveable dick, he's still a dick. How does he get himself in harm's way? Well, it all starts with Meatwad showing off his magic skills. Carl finds himself impresed by the sword-swallowing and the fact that Meatwad swallows beans and craps out a cup of coffee (teacup and all), squirts out some foam and a tip jar as well as projecting a bunch of darts to a spinning wheel with balloons and Frylock tied on to it. But at the same time he wonders where the sword went, making Master Shake continue to insist that Meatwad's trick is lame/gay/completely fake/etc. Carl says he has a trick of his own that he can do, but Master Shake thinks he's bluffing and bets Carl that he couldn't do the trick. And the rest of the episode is Master Shake making really bad wagers at a gambling center (not a casino mind you) and getting his ass kicked by some thugs. Along the same road, Meatwad is scoring big with the bets he's making and finally gets to prove to Master Shake what he's made of.

8. Zucotti Manacotti

The last episode from Season 9 to be on this list, Zucotti Manacotti really has only one reason for being here. Is it the great puppets? No. Is it the amusing intro? No. Is it because it's the "who's the imposter" scenario done in the style of the Aqua Teen show? Nope. It's because Zucotti Manacotti is voiced by a guy who sounds like Black Dynamite. I actually did talk to the voice actor on Twitter once I made the mistake of saying that he sounded like Michael Jai White, and it turned out that he does cover for him on the animated show. You might just say that simply because a character sounds like some really cool character from another property that it doesn't just make it a reason to be on the list. And while I think there's a lot more to the episode that makes it great, such as how obsessed Meatwad gets with the show, how Master Shake fucks with Meatwad with the Zucotti Manacotti handpuppet he gets for Christmas, and the tests that Meatwad uses to determine who's the real Zucotti, just think about it. Here we have a puppet character voiced by a damn good imitation of a badass blaxploitation parody/homage character. How can you not the deep voice and the way he talks back throughout the whole thing. It just brings a smile to my face to see the bizarre combination work.

7. Dumber Dolls/Rubberman

Now the last two times I had another episode lumped onto a spot it was because they had the same character and it was too tough to just separate it. In this case, it's that they have similar characters and it was too tough to separate it. I think everyone knows the Dumber Dolls episode for Happy Time Harry who, ironically, is this depressed, despicable has-been whose comedy works more on the anti-humor slant. No? Oh...then do you remember the episode because of Jiggle Billy? His hilarious design and how all he wants to do is commence the jiggling? Of course! Actually to be fair, I'm sure that people are also aware of Happy Time Harry as Harry is pretty integral in not only depressing Meatwad but also making Jiggle Billy doubt his self-worth and make him commit suicide. Again, there's a dark edge inserted but with the absurdity of the situation, your nervous laughter soon becomes more calm. The episode should have really just been just those two dolls because they hold it up so well with how they act, but the other character still keep in amusing with their remarks on the situation.

With that in mind, what makes Rubberman fit to be on this spot if it's less recognizable than Dumber Dolls? Well, aside from how the two involve Meatwad making a friend who's a bad influence on them, it's just as entertaining. Meatwad starts a recycling program and then decides makes a duck out of used condoms, needles, a crack pipe and empty bottles of beer. He manages to bring the creature to life by putting on a special hat-lamp that belongs to Carl (even though Frylock greatly warned him from doing so). And just like Frosty the Snowman, the being (named Lance Potter) is alive and a merry tune plays as they have themselves a wonderful adventure of buying crack on the street, killing a homeless man for his money and sawing off limbs so that Lance can become more human. Again, much like Zucotti Manacotti, what makes this episode great is the voice of the supporting character whom you tag along with throughout the whole thing. The voice being Donn Kennedy and he does a fantastic job of making Lance both a chummy friend of all as well as a disgruntled sailor-type psychotic. Along with that there's the music that plays which has some of the silliest yet greatest lyrics out of an Aqua Teen song ever...excluding of course the movie. For me to choose one over the other is a crime, both are worth it.

6. Larry Miller Hair System

Okay, I know what you're thinking. "You're going to say that this episode is great because of the voice of Larry Miller, one of your favorite comedian cameos, aren't ya?" For a minute, I'd say you pegged me from the start with this choice, but guess what? There was something more that made the episode for me. Now don't get me wrong, seeing an episode where Larry Miller introduces himself to Carl by talking about all the cameos he's done and Carl then talks about Martin Lawrence films is neat. Seeing one where Larry Miller uses a hair system scam to add more fire to his severe gambling problem and then bolts out of a van to get another fix from the casino is a gut-buster for me. That alone makes this great, but it's taken to a new level when you have Carl viewing an alternate universe version of himself where he is a wholesome family man with an innocent-as-heck wife and manages to sleep in different beds and also has a full set of hair. The utter pleasantness of the situation frustrates Carl to the point where he convinces his alternate universe self to become more assertive, aggressive and wild. So in fact, this episode has Carl making another Carl more like Carl. Not only is it ingenious to have a character view his alternate self and force that self to become more like him but it's also hilarious to see the polar opposite of Carl reflected to himself and seeing how Carl reacts to his bizarro. Larry Miller is a joy, but the plot is an absolute riot.

5. Dusty Gazongas

For number 5, I was going to do the same thing as number 7 and just have two episodes with similar concepts. This was going to also have Jumpy George in it, since both of them involve Master Shake and Carl unsuccessfully wooing a woman of the opposite sex. While I love Jumpy George for having the Mooninites and a good amount of funny moments, it felt a little too much for me. I have no problem with a lot more crazy shit happening in the episode but it doesn't have the same vibe as other work. It's hard to explain it...but what isn't is that the love interest in Dusty Gazongas is more interesting. I don't just say that because Dusty is the only character in the show that I would remotely want to bang (Tera Patrick is a close second and the mermaid's an even closer third), but because she manages to combine the stupid and slutty elements of her character very well.

With Jumpy George, the woman was just like a single mom who was really boring and as much as Carl and Master Shake would want to bang anything with a good figure, it just makes little sense. Sure, complaining about something not making sense in this show is illogical but consider how Dusty Gazongas is a lot more in line with the environment and appeal of the two characters. She's a social worker with a trashy outfit which seems typical of the destitute-of-class urban setting. She keeps forgetting to fix the issue and re-enacts her stripper routine. And she's got a lot more going for her if you know what I mean. It's absolutely perfect for Carl and Master Shake to fight for her and the ways the two try to get her in bed are delightful. From cutting power cords, to making a path of rose petals and having a baseball bat wang to tricking her into thinking the light is broken when really all it is off and she's not smart enough to notice it, all the tricks are beyond embarrassing if applied to a real life setting but knee-slappers in the episode itself. And of course we can't forget the integral part the wrench had in the whole thing.

4. Super Bowl

Ah, the Super Bowl. The one time people get all hyped up for some backwards event involving a ball going to one end of a field from the middle. How in the world are Aqua Teen going to tackle this? Hmm...why don't we have Meatwad win these tickets by eating a Doritos like snack and have Master Shake kiss ass to him to get those tickets? Why don't we also have Carl do the same because we all know that he practically breathes the sport and have the comedy ensue from how hard he's trying to play nice with a character that he very much can not tolerate under normal circumstances? And just to top it off, let's have the inclusion of Boxy Brown, a box with a foxy attitude similar to that of Shaft...because why not? It's pretty much the way that the episode should go and it delivers, especially how Shake has both a lot of restraint and yet none at all when it comes to seeing the Super Bowl. It has one of the best payoffs to the whole dilemma as it puts Shake in one of the most teeth-grating positions of his whole life.

3. Handbanana

Probably one of the most quoted episodes aside from anything to do with the Mooninties, the Plutonians or Jiggle Billy, Handbanana takes the Carlin approach to the touchy subject matter of rape. A dog whose made out of Master Shake's hand becomes the new pet of the Aqua Teens. Handbanana is adored by the Aqua Teens but makes a threatening remark to Carl along the lines of "when the sky is darkened by the approach of dusk, you". Carl doesn't understand the remark but when he's visited by him at his house unannounced, he realizes the meaning. It's such a fucked up episode because you're laughing at rape, one of the worst things in the world. Much like the Carlin bit though, the humor doesn't come from the act but the idea of something absurd raping something equally as absurd. The way that Carl finds himself in the rape situations as well as how he tries to prevent it and warn the Aqua Teens about the issue along with the things that Handbanana says, while creepy, are made funny by the cliche "slimy pervert" voice that oozes out of him are what keep this episode going. Carl's final resort is probably one of the best scenes with the character in the whole show.

2. Hypno-Germ

Hypno-Germ is a spectacular episode, you can just tell that by the fact that it's a very low number. Something that I find interesting about this episode though is that it's brilliance comes not from the Aqua Teens but from a completely irrelevant part in the episode. The concept is that Master Shake gets infected with hypno-germs, germs that make him hallucinate and tell him to do downright insane things. He talks to the wall, a file cabinet, files and a basketball in the typical non-sequitors the show thrives on and then does a show for a bunch of file cabinets as he breaks through the floor. He ends up on the middle of the street, as traffic goes by him and he has garbage all over himself. It would have been a fun episode but you'd just think it's too stonery to make a fuss about it. But before you leave, you then see a zoom into his eye. And then what ensues is an amateur production of Rapunzel with nose hair, Mexican jumping beans, missed lines, the Hulk (not the one you're thinking off), a wizard, a zombie and the voice of Dan Halen going through the mess of a story that is laid before you. At that moment you know that what you've witnessed was not only the most surreal moment of the episode and the most surreal episode of the show but also the most surreal thing in the whole of [as]. You find yourself laughing but also taken aback to how the choices made were not only incredibly questionable but worked so well to make the collage of mindfuckery that was bestowed upon you. Clearly, nothing can top this.


1. Gee Whiz

I could just post a bunch of videos of laughter as well as type out a huge wall with nothing but HA repeated as nauseum, but I'm better than that...for now. As you can tell though, the main reason I choose this episode is because of how much I was chuckling throughout the whole thing. The story is that Meatwad gets pregnant around the highway and thinks that it was by the hand of Jesus since many people have sighted the son of god on the billboard. That's enough to make the story funny, but what's even better is how the episode is a big ol' fuck you to censorship by having George Lowe make a video about standard practices which involves shooting a nun and having her bleed a rainbow. This then makes any swears in the episode be replaces with a whole slew of sound effects (which isn't that strange for the show) and a giant red X when the sound plays. This gets highlighted when Meatwad overeats like mad and then fires off at his roommates for not getting any ice cream. It's not only what he says that puts me in stitches, it's the selection of sounds that fire off as he yells at them. I couldn't stop crying and when I did I had an indoor pool. And that's not even taking into consideration who's Meatwad's daddy, who was on the billboard and how the episode ends. It managed to summarize the idiosyncratic nature of the show but more than that, it was funny as fuck. That to me, is what makes this the greatest Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode.

So that's my choices. Please note that just because any other episode didn't appear on this list doesn't mean I didn't like the others. It was a tough choice and I really love a lot of the episodes. Which is to be expected for this show. Not necessarily because it's a great show (even though it is) but because there's very little you can do wrong with a show like this. Even TV Show Show, which I would say is the more weaker of the new seasons, has some brilliant moments. Sure, it's relatively cheap humor, but it's the good kind of cheap humor. See you later. 

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