In the wake of the 2016 election, we have come to see the
rise of the alt-right. The alt-right is the answer to the question “What if the
obnoxiousness of the liberals was combined with the blatant racism and
conspiracy theories of right-wing radio hosts?” though a more concise way to
see it is as one commentator put it, “fascism but with memes”. I would say that’s the weirdest thing to come
out of this year but this year has already brought Brexit causing a mini-global
financial panic, a senseless violence conga from the West to the East and the most
hated people America could offer being the nominees to run the nation into a
second civil war, among so many other insane stories. Rest assured though, the
alt-right is still in the Top 10, because it’s not exactly something that’s
easy to talk about with sensible, normal people. It’s about as weird as
explaining some sexual slang that Stephen Colbert uses to my mother. I mean
we’re all adults here, but there’s just something so immature and bizarre about
the whole thing. Much like the alt-right.
Like any modern political movement, the alt-right came about
from the recesses of 4chan and Reddit, happily listening to Alex Jones grunt
about globalists and sneering at progressives for being no-good cucks. At the
time, there wasn’t much to be said – they just kind of seemed like disgruntled
white dudes who wanted to use the privilege of anonymity to say terrible
things. Then the election saw that Trump, a man who had a hatred of anyone who
wasn’t white (yet had no problem with his own reflection) was not only winning,
but he was being as politically incorrect and aggressive as all fuck. Thus, the
alt-right came out of their basements and goose-stepped out on the streets to
rally behind the man who would bring about the promise of a greater America.
Once the nomination was a lock for Trump, the alt-right
could happily dance on a fractured GOP as they laughed uproariously at Sanders
supporters who either sighed deeply and went with her or want to see what a
lame-brain libertarian or consistently-losing green could offer them. The left
pretty much wasn’t left much to retort – no matter how many times they shouted
Donald Drumpf, it didn’t stop the incessant cuck-calling. They were free to
spam their intolerant, nationalistic garbage around the internet, filling the
media up with so much bile that Ann Coulter could come out of the ooze and plug
her new book The Liberals Are A Bunch Of
Fucking Cunts.
The alt-right found itself a powerful ally in Milo Yiannopoulos,
an only-gay-because-I-hate-women-so-much media commentator, who fought the good
fight for Gamergate despite making it very clear he fucking hates those fat
virgin loser gamers. Milo knows that the way to get people to listen is to be
outrageous as possible. Saying that you want to be straight as a gay guy might
not be all that shocking, but saying that you want to be straight to become
more oppressed? That’s gonna draw the eye…and a ton of laughs, but nevermind
that– they won’t laugh for long. He turned the whole ridiculing spectacle from
the left-leaning entertainers and the flamboyancy of the LGBTQ community into
tools for the alt-right to use and abuse, ensuring that they would get
significant attention for their batshit crazy thoughts and for their incessant
spamming of the death of one particular gorilla who I’m so fucking sick of
hearing about.
The alt-right has a significant amount of footing in place
and they’re not as different as their more measured folks in the same political
wing. Both after all agree that Obama and Hilary are a mistake, Islam is a
threat to the West, and that the illegal immigrant issue needs some serious
reform. The only difference is that the alt-right will call you a shill and a
cuck if you disagree with them. They’re far more intense about their beliefs
and they don’t fuck around despite how much of a joke I may make them out to
believe. They’re a strong virus from the partisan plague that has continued to
fester in the US, with this year being the moment that it turned into a
complete epidemic. After all, it’s not like nationalism or insane right-wing
politicians are only a US thing.
It’s a shame that we’ve gotten to this point where
moderates, compromise and nuance are as absent as the headphone jack on an
iPhone 7. But I suppose it’s hard to expect unity in the US unless we get
horribly attacked. Even then, good luck trying to get us united. It’s not to
say that the alt-right is the sole culprit of the division or even one of the
greater pushers. Sure, they’re a radical bunch who’d happily tweet out KKK
quotes under the handle of AryanWhitePower1488, but the Tea Party hasn’t helped
in bridging that divide. The deadlocked congress hasn’t helped. Real Time With
Bill Maher or The Daily Show or Last Week Tonight or really any political
comedy show hasn’t really helped. But the alt-right certainly has shown that
we’ve taken our division to another level.
I guess I can’t exactly pretend like I don’t have my own
passionate political biases. Anytime I hear someone praising Hugo Chavez, I
restrain myself from wanting to choke someone to death. Politics are always
going to end up stirring enough emotion among people to get them to hate
long-time friends or family members. And certainly this year is going to bring
that divorce rate up higher than the number of emails that Hilary has deleted.
Even when the election ends, there’s going to be a whole lot of anger about who
wins and people will still be at each other’s throats. There seems to be no
grey in the black and white world that has been created. Certainly the
alt-right sees itself on the white side and will do it’s best to maintain this
simplified world along with the smug left. I hope that things aren’t as grim
and divisive as they seem. But if not, at the very least I hope they stop
saying cuck so damn much.
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